The first message sets the tone for the entire conversation. A thoughtful opener can lead to engaging dialogue and a genuine connection, while a generic line might get lost in the digital noise. Here's how to craft first messages that actually get replies.

Be Specific and Observant

The best first messages reference something specific about the person you're chatting with. Notice details in their appearance, background, or what they've said and respond to those specifics. This shows genuine interest rather than sending the same line to multiple people.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Questions that can be answered with just "yes" or "no" kill conversation quickly. Instead, ask questions that invite elaboration. "What's your favorite thing about Rotterdam?" leads to richer discussion than "Do you like Rotterdam?"

Keep It Light and Positive

Start with friendly, upbeat topics. Avoid heavy subjects, controversial opinions, or negative comments in your first message. You want to create a pleasant first impression that encourages a response.

Mention Something Local

Since you're both in Rotterdam, referencing local spots or events can create immediate common ground. "Have you tried the new café at the Markthal?" feels more personal than generic small talk.

Examples of Good Openers

  • "I love your headphones — what kind are they?"
  • "That book behind you looks interesting, what are you reading?"
  • "The weather today is perfect for a walk along the Maas. Do you enjoy that?"
  • "I noticed you have great taste in music. Any recommendations?"

What to Avoid

Steer clear of overly familiar compliments about appearance, pickup lines that feel rehearsed, or messages that are so generic they could apply to anyone. Also avoid asking for personal information right away.

Remember, the goal is to start a conversation — not to impress or pressure. Be curious, be genuine, and let the chat flow naturally from there.